Flower of Devotion

On one occasion the soul of a dead religious appeared to St. Gertrude, sad and in such a state that the saint knew that she had not yet made full satisfaction for her sins and was not yet worthy of partaking of the sweetness which the loving presence of God bestows on souls. The saint asked her: “Which mistake makes you sigh the most?” The soul answered, “This is the mistake that I have always wanted to do according to my will. If I did a good deed, I was not happy to conform to the opinion of others, but I always acted only according to my own opinion. All the spiritual sufferings that men have ever experienced, taken together, do not even come close to the inner pain and unspeakable sorrow they experience as a result of this error.”
St. Gertrude said, “By what means can you be relieved?” The soul answered, “By offering to God the very opposite course, and by avoiding falling into the same error.”
St. Gertrude went on to ask, “Meanwhile, from what will you draw consolation?” The soul said, “The faithfulness I have always maintained to those on earth whom I have loved sweetens my punishment as I am now suffering. Hence, the prayers which my friends say for me, through the mercy of the Saviour, have the power to alleviate my torments, just as in times of need it is a joy to receive good news. The singing of the Holy Masses, and all the different tones repeated in the public prayers that are said for me, also make me a kind of costly garment. Ultimately, by the special operation of the Saviour’s goodness, all that my friends do for the glory of God diminishes my sufferings; for instance, when they work, and even when they sleep and eat, it brings me nearer and nearer to the goal of my happiness, and this is because of my will to do them good, which I have always observed zealously throughout my life.”
St. Gertrude said, “What help does our request to offer you all the merits of the good works which the Saviour has done in us by His grace give you?” The soul answered, “These merits serve me very well, for I have nothing by which to please God, to make me acceptable in the sight of God.”
St. Gertrude said, “Would you suffer more if a sick person postponed the prayers for you until he was well and would have wished you to have said them sooner?” The soul answered, “Delays caused by wise motives are not disagreeable; as long as they are not caused by negligence and laziness.”
St. Gertrude said: “And our conduct and spiritual disposition for your sake during your illness has not been an obstacle to your happiness, and have we not done you a bad service by it? For our wishes and prayers were rather intended to beg God to deign to restore you to health and keep you alive, than to give you the grace to prepare well for death.” The soul answered, “You have done me no harm by this, but, on the contrary, you have contributed to my happiness, for the infinitely benevolent God, whose mercy surpasses all other works, has been all the more gracious and generous to me when He saw that your love moved you to share in my earthly benefit, even though it was done in a way that betrayed a very human weakness.”
St. Gertrude went on to ask: “Is Does it hurt you, or does it delay your happiness, if the tenderness of a human person makes you cry?” The soul answered: “These tears have the same effect on me as the kindness of their friends has on those who are saddened, and who wish to show their sympathy that they share in their grief. If, for on the other hand, I shall one day become happy by enjoying the splendor of heaven, then these proofs of your love will also make me glad and glad. And they will be
as pleasing to me as they are to a young man to wish happiness and to acknowledge those he loves. And I deserved this consolation, because my faithfulness, which won your hearts to me, was sincere and pure, and was based on the love of God.”
When St. Gertrude, praying for this soul, pronounced the words in the “Our Father”: “Forgive us our trespasses; as we forgive those who trespass against us,” she saw that the soul was showing pain, which greatly astonished her. When she was asked the reason for her grief, she replied: “When I was on earth, I offended God not a little by finding it difficult to forgive those who offended me. When I met with them after a long time, I showed them coldness and conceit, which they were displeased. To make up for these mistakes, it came to pass that at the very moment when you uttered these words, my spirit was troubled with an unbearable embarrassment.”
St. Gertrude said, “And how long will you bear this penalty?” The soul answered, “Until I have made full satisfaction for my sins. Meanwhile, your love, with which you so devoutly prayed this prayer for me, has obtained for me from the mercy of God the grace that every time you say these words in the future, I will be relieved. Thus I shall be all the more able to thank God for the gracious forgiveness of my errors, which grace I did not deserve.”
When the Holy Mass was celebrated for the intention of the deceased and the priest offered the Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus, his soul appeared, surrounded by heavenly light and as if delighted with joy. Then St. Gertrude turned to the Lord Jesus and said: “Has this soul already received glory and been completely freed from the sufferings it has suffered?” To this the Lord answered, “She has been relieved from great misery, and no man can imagine what she has already gained. However, it is not yet so pure as to be worthy of enjoying My presence. But with the prayers which are said for her, and which compel Me to give her consolation and relief, the moment of her complete purification is drawing nearer and nearer.” And the Lord added: “Your Lordships cannot obtain her release as quickly as they could, if this soul were not so guilty of My justice, as a result of that error often committed, that she showed herself obstinate and unobedient to the will of those who wished to induce her to do something contrary to her inclinations.”